It was recently reported that Donald Trump has added a travel website to his business empire. Since everyone knows how much the man likes to acquire things and slap his name on them, I’ve come up with a few ideas that the Trumpster might want to consider…
SUGAR FROSTED TRUMP O’S: the sugary breakfast cereal with marshmallow bits shaped like Trump’s head, so you always get a little of ‘The Donald’ in every bite.
TRUMP TOILET TISSUE DELUXE: why would you wipe with anything less?
THE CHURCH OF TRUMPOLOGY: if some third rate science fiction writer can start a religion than so can Trump. Celebrities will be drawn to it like flies to honey covered dung.
THE TRUMPETTES: (formerly the Radio City Rockettes) these dancers will have a new retirement age of twenty-five, but in his munificence Mr. Trump will build them a group home so that as he himself might say " the old broads will have some place to go."
TRUMP HEALTH INSURANCE: our motto is "We definitely cover breast implants."
GRANDPA TRUMP'S BABY FOOD: feed your little ones only the best. Featuring two new, exciting flavors: Lobster Puree and Caviar Custard.
THE TRUMP SCOUTS: where children will earn merit badges for things like self-promotion, ruthlessness and conspicuous consumption.
TRUMPS EXTRA STRENGTH LIP BALM: lets’ you purse your lips in a disdainful manner even in the coldest weather.
All I ask in exchange for any or all of these ideas is a rent-free apartment in Trump Towers…so, Mr. Trump, what do you say?