Darts, poker, badminton and miniature golf…these are just some of the fast paced and action packed sports competitions that can sometimes be seen on channels like ESPN or ESPN 2. Hey folks, it’s not easy to fill up twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week and it’s only going to get worse.
My sources have managed to get hold of a list of little known and seldom seen "sports" that are being considered for broadcast:
THE 450TH EUROPEAN CHEESE ROLLING CHAMPIONSHIP: (Not to be confused with the much younger European cheese throwing championship).
THE NORWEGIAN HUMAN SNOWMAN COMPETITION: Naked contestants are completely covered in snow and whoever can endure it the longest wins. (In the event of identical times the winner will the person who has lost the fewest body parts to frostbite).
GIANT TORTOISE WRESTLING FROM THE GALAPAGOS ISLANDS: (The list doesn’t make it clear whether it will be people wresting the tortoises or if they’ve found a way to make the tortoises wrestle each other).
THE URBAN OUTDOORSMAN: A hunting competition from NYC. Contestants have one hour to bag as much urban wildlife as the can. The point values are as follows: Pigeons 25, Squirrels 50, rats 75 and hotdog vendors 100.
THE INDIA 500: Kind of like the Indy 500…but with cows.
EXTREME CHESS: Played outdoors with life sized chess pieces that weigh 200 pounds each. (Last year’s final match was called on account of hernias).
Lastly, it looks like they’ll also be including more sports related movies like these…
PIGSKINS AND PAPER CUPS: You’ve seen them on the sidelines handing out drinks to the players…this is their story.
SUMO GIRL: The story of Japan’s first woman sumo wrestler; how she dealt with the public outrage over the idea of a woman wrestling men while wearing next to nothing and her own heartbreak when it turned out no one could tell the difference.
Now that…is must see TV.