Aside from wanting to write for the weekly tabloids, as I’ve already mentioned, I have also been busy trying my hand at writing children’s books. Unfortunately and inexplicably…they’ve all been rejected. So, here is just a glimpse of the touching and imaginative stories that future generations of children will have to miss out on thanks to blind and timid publishers who wouldn’t know a good idea if it crawled up their left nostril and clog danced on their frontal lobe! But I digress…
Here are some of the titles from my educational series of children’s books:
WHERE THE SHARP, POINTY THINGS ARE (a pop-up book)
NEW FISH, OLD FISH, SICK FISH, DEAD FISH (teaches about pet care)
SANTA’S LITTLE HEART ATTACK (promotes good eating habits)
MOMMY AND THE MILKMAN (teaches kids about complex modern relationships; also in this series: Mommy and the Postman, Mommy and the Cable Guy and dozens more)
Then there’s the whimsical THE TAPEWORM AND THE ENCHANTED INTESTINE and the inspirational THE LITTLE CHAINSAW THAT COULD.
Finally, here are two books that I truly believe would have become holiday classics:
EASTER BUNNY STEW AND OTHER WOODLAND TALES and PUMPKIN HEADED TIMMY in THE BOY WHO HATED HALLOWEEN.
I wonder if Dr. Seuss had this much trouble getting published?