Monday, January 16, 2006

Thank you for your submission, unfortunately...

Aside from wanting to write for the weekly tabloids, as I’ve already mentioned, I have also been busy trying my hand at writing children’s books. Unfortunately and inexplicably…they’ve all been rejected. So, here is just a glimpse of the touching and imaginative stories that future generations of children will have to miss out on thanks to blind and timid publishers who wouldn’t know a good idea if it crawled up their left nostril and clog danced on their frontal lobe! But I digress…

Here are some of the titles from my educational series of children’s books:

WHERE THE SHARP, POINTY THINGS ARE (a pop-up book)

NEW FISH, OLD FISH, SICK FISH, DEAD FISH (teaches about pet care)

SANTA’S LITTLE HEART ATTACK (promotes good eating habits)

MOMMY AND THE MILKMAN (teaches kids about complex modern relationships; also in this series: Mommy and the Postman, Mommy and the Cable Guy and dozens more)

Then there’s the whimsical THE TAPEWORM AND THE ENCHANTED INTESTINE and the inspirational THE LITTLE CHAINSAW THAT COULD.

Finally, here are two books that I truly believe would have become holiday classics:

EASTER BUNNY STEW AND OTHER WOODLAND TALES and PUMPKIN HEADED TIMMY in THE BOY WHO HATED HALLOWEEN.

I wonder if Dr. Seuss had this much trouble getting published?

7 comments:

Sher said...

Pumpkin headed Timmy was actually my ex-husband's name. It's true...he hated Halloween.

The Drive-by Blogger said...

I'm just relieved to hear that he's your ex-husband.

Jaesoreal said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Jaesoreal said...

That Santa one reminds me of my fairytale blog. I've been saying Santa needs to speak up on healthcare issues for years! Instead he just takes everything for a joke!

Kali said...

Mamma and the Milkman? You gotta write that one!!! I really love your sense of humor. I think we'd get along :)

Emily said...

I really appreciate this blog. Good work.

I just submited my website to DiverseList.com.com, its really easy, and the
submit site
directory is free.

Keep it up.

Anonymous said...

Ich wollte sehr mit Ihnen reden. cialis online apotheke levitra preis [url=http//t7-isis.org]viagra bestellen billig[/url]