Saturday, January 28, 2006

Come out with your paws up...

I’m not a person who is given to spiritual or mystical thoughts in general, but I must admit I have sometimes wondered if cats might be reincarnated criminals. I don’t say this because I dislike cats; I do like them. I admire their natural grace and agility…it’s just that there are certain things about them that put this idea in my head.

Take their stealthiness for example; the term ‘cat burglar’ comes from the cat’s uncanny ability to go around unheard and unnoticed. Of course, I can’t remember the last time I actually heard anyone use that expression, but you know what I mean. We had to put a bell on our cat just to have some idea of where the hell she was and she still finds ways to sneak up on us.

Like most other cats, ours seems to enjoy breaking the rules. No matter how many times someone chases her off the table or counter top, when she thinks no one is looking she goes right back on. I can hear you saying, “Perhaps the wee beastie doesn’t know any better.” Then tell me why as soon as she knows she has been spotted she jumps right off …and why are you speaking with a Scottish accent?

Then there’s the little matter of carrying concealed weapons, by which I mean those retractable claws that they’re always ready to use to vandalize various pieces of household furniture. Do you see a pattern starting to emerge here? And what about those occasions when a seemingly normal cat will start running around the house as though it’s tail was on fire. Are they having a flashback of being chased by the police in a previous life, some kind of karmic hangover?

Despite this compelling evidence, I still find it difficult to believe in reincarnation. Even if I could, I’m not sure I could be convinced that coming back as a cat after having been human is actually a step down the spiritual ladder.

Anyway, I have to go now…I have to take our cat to see her parole officer.

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