Sunday, October 29, 2006

Progress marches on...

There was good news in the world of medicine recently when government scientists announced that they have created a vaccine against a virus that may have killed as many as one hundred million people.

The bad news is that they’re talking about the Spanish flu virus of 1918 and there’s no expectation that it will resurface, but hey…better late than never. So with that admirable philosophy in mind, here a few other things that scientists are busy working on:

Saber tooth tiger repellant

Off road chariots

Flame retardant paint for the Hindenburg

Disposable togas

A prosthetic ear for Vincent Van Gogh

Indestructible phonograph needles

Pyramid polish

Genetically engineered horses to speed up the Pony Express

And last but not least, remote controlled drawbridges…you know, for those occasions when your castle is under siege.


Diesel said...

I love pyramid polish. I mean, the idea of it. I don't actually have any. I can imagine the slaves perched on top of the pyramids rubbing paper towels on the rock surface and making that squeaky-squeaky sound.

Jae said...

Off-road chariots? That's why God invented trucks!

Dan said...

Hey Diesel, I scored some pyramid polish on eBay the other day. Want some?

Drive-by, very funny post dude! Stop it! You make me jealous.

Paul "FooDaddy" Brand said...

I'm still holding out for color "Tele-Vision". And perhaps some higher "definition".