Wednesday, March 14, 2007

Searching high and low...but mostly low

Yes, it’s time once again to take a look at some of the more interesting search engine queries that have brought a few unwary travelers to my humble abode here in the blogosphere, during the last couple of months…

Bear Grylls nude: When I first wrote about this survival expert a while back, I wasn’t sure that many people would even know who he was. Apparently, there are many that do know and more than a few of them want to see him naked. I counted eleven separate searches, all involving some combination of the words, Bear Grylls, nude and photos.

For one seeker however, this was not specific enough, because they typed in the words “Bear Grylls penis”. Perhaps they were hoping that this particular part Grylls anatomy has it’s own website. Well, there are stranger things in cyberspace.

Lesbian nude meerschaum pipe: Remember, when the holiday season rolls around, it’s the perfect stocking stuffer for the horny, porn addicted pipe smoker on your Christmas list.

Man who discovered friction: I’ve never really thought of friction as something that was “discovered” by one man, but if it was, I’m pretty sure I know what he was doing at the time…if you know what I mean.

Hardy boys’ bondage: Sure, why not…as long as they solve the mystery, it’s all good.

Ponderous penis: Note the alliteration, this is the kind of phrasing you get when a poet searchs for Internet porn.

Drive by murder drawing: Driving, murdering and drawing? Man, I really envy people who can multi-task like that.

Not surprisingly perhaps, none of these people stayed for more than two or three seconds. I can picture them cursing me as they angrily click out…maybe the new motto for this blog should be “disappointing people since 2006”.

Listed on


Anita said...

I always love reading these, thanks! I haven't checked mine in a while, should be interesting.

Here's a bunch I found at least mildly amusing:

bobcat skid loader accident pictures (a ton of people typed in this exact phrase, odd)

celebrities on crack

paris hilton feet

on his birthday chuck norris randomly selects one lucky child to be thrown into the sun

one guys says another i know a guy with a wooden leg named smith the other guy asks whats the name of his other leg (2 people had the time to type all this?)

borat on bush naked billboard

why do the french like snails - i hope I helped

teenage boys who like wearing nothing but diapers

farting girls february 2007 - is this a calendar?

britney spears rear end pictures - they must have been disappointed

contest chewbacca screaming - oooh, good idea

The Drive-by Blogger said...

Thanks Anita, I'm glad some else also enjoys these things. I liked celebrities on crack...I don't know how many are, but most of them seem to act that way.

By the way, congratulations on winning Best New Weblog in the 2007 Bloggies.

Paul "FooDaddy" Brand said...

Wow. I don't think anything that weird has led people to our blog. Just a lot of people searching for things that involve the word "stupid".

Actually, a lot of the Googles for our blog were for the blog itself, as evidenced by "blog of stupid" being the search criteria.

Anita said...

Thanks for the congrats DbD! You should see some of the crazier stuff they type in. Since Crack is in my blog name, and I've had a couple posts on celebs, I get some really nasty searchers. Based on the comments I have to delete, apparently a decent # stick around too! Odd since the bulk of my readers seem to be spread between techies and stay-at-home moms.

Mirk said...

Saw a wee bit of Bear-ness tonight in the everglades!

Thankfully clothed and not eating raw fish.

Anonymous said...

You have better search hits than ME!!! said...

Ha! I too was curious about "bear" and accidentally discovered this site. Very funny about the searches people do on his name. Funny AND revealing (pun intended).

Anonymous said...

So where's the Bear nude?

Bear Grylls nude also directs to my blog (