Wednesday, March 07, 2007

Extreme archeology...

You may already know about the controversial documentary by James Cameron ( the guy who directed Titanic) which claims that the tomb that once held the bones of Jesus and possibly his son, has been found.

What you may not know is that there are more shocks to come. My friend the eminent scholar Monty Dingham Smythington, a man who keeps up with these things, sent me this list of other remarkable discoveries that were also made during this archeological expedition:

Moses’s lunchbox, intact and containing a half-eaten, 4ooo year-old ham sandwich. According to the team’s forensic dentistry expert “Moses seems to have had one hell of an overbite. Who knew?

Job’s diary, in which he wrote “I’m a patient man, but all these trials are really starting to chap my ass!

The second (and final) tomb of Lazarus, the man Jesus raised from the dead, did of course die again... eventually. An inscription in the tomb says that the location was to be kept secret by order of the town elders because “ though we appreciate miracles as much as anyone, having dead people coming back to life really messes up the census.

The Captains Log from Noah's Ark, in which he wrote “ I know now that it was wrong to stage animal fights for our amusement, but come on, 40 days and 40 nights! The boredom was killing us and I swear, I really thought that the Unicorns could hold their own against the lions.


Exciting stuff indeed…I wonder if any of it will wind up on eBay?



Listed on humor-blogs.com

13 comments:

Joel Bezaire said...

Forget the fact that Moses had an overbite...who knew he wasn't kosher?!?!?

Rhea said...

Truly amazing finds! Especially that Moses enjoyed ham sandwiches.

Claire said...

What joel said... Holy cats!
btw- the rest of it was funny too ;)

The Drive-by Blogger said...

Joel, Rhea and Claire- It's shocking I know...first breaking dietary law and then wasting half a sandwich.

Paul "FooDaddy" Brand said...

Moses also gambled with his life at least once.

"Okay. A lot of you think we had it easier in Egypt."

"Yeah! Take us back, y'schmuck!"

"Send forth your best player then. I challenge him to a game of checkers! Winner decides where we go!"

Diesel said...

I wonder who was on Moses' lunchbox. Adam?

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