Well, the space shuttle was launched a few days ago, even though there still seemed to be some disagreement among the experts at NASA regarding safety issues. If I ruled the world I believe I could solve that problem as well as find a way to generate a lot of money for future missions.
Instead of sending up intelligent people who possess valuable skills, I would create a new reality show called "Celebrity Space Shuttle" and send groups of desperate, attention grubbing celebrities into space. Ok…so they can’t all be celebrities, after all we can’t expect these idiots to actually fly the damn thing, but most of the "crew" would be celebs.
Viewers would be able to vote someone off the shuttle every few days and those people would then have a rocket pack strapped to their backs and be shot off into deep space. I know this is bad news for the losing celebrities, but if your gonna make an omelet, you gotta break some eggs.
The sole surviving celebrity would then return to earth and get a book deal or something. Since it’s my idea, I get to pick the first group to go and these are my choices and why I picked them:
Michael Jackson, because I’m pretty sure outer space is where he came from anyway.
Regis Philbin, he thinks he can sing…he has actually recorded a CD…he is quite possibly insane…he must go.
Ashley and Mary-Kate Olson, since the combined weight of these two is less than one normal person we get to count them as a single celebrity
Howard Stern, just tell him that there are quadruple breasted lesbian strippers on Mars…I’m sure he’ll go for it.
Joe Rogan, my personal choice to be voted off first, we’ll find out if fear is a factor for him.
Donald Trump, I want to see the effects of zero gravity on the world’s most famous comb-over.
If the show was a hit we could do another one involving a submarine, the Mariana Trench and celebrity torpedoes…fingers crossed everyone.