Tuesday, July 04, 2006

Scout's honor...

Having grown up in a large urban area, I’d always associated the Boy Scouts with things like camping and…umm…more camping. So I was surprised to learn that the list of merit badges that can be earned includes Architecture, genealogy and chemistry. Anyway, this got me thinking of starting a branch of scouting just for kids who live in the city. Here’s a list of the merit badges that "City Scouts" will be able to earn:


Traffic dodging

Subway tunnel spelunking

Recycling crack vials

Hostage negotiating

Panhandling

Turnstile jumping

Pimp slapping

Switchblade handling

Tranny spotting

Elevator surfing

Three card Monte

Pigeon plucking


The Boy Scout motto is "Be prepared", so I think we’ll need one that captures the essence of the City Scouts…maybe something like "What’re you lookin’ at" or "I swear, he was bleedin’ when I got here". Now all we need are uniforms and we can start molding the future leaders of America.

5 comments:

neva said...

oh lord. and on the 4th of July, no less! still... i *like* this concept and will consider enrolling our 2 sons. (assuming they're not too old at 22 and 25.) god knows they could use some of these skills... "pidgeon plucking" and "pan handling" may come in quite handy some day.

future leaders of America, indeed!

Paul "FooDaddy" Brand said...

Dude. That's hilarious. I'm so going to start a local chapter. We're going to go mall-hiking and camp out under overpasses and roast hotdogs over fires we started in steel public trash bins. It's gonna be great.

I'll let you know how it all turns out.

Paul "FooDaddy" Brand said...

Oh, and "Pimp slapping" cracks me up.

The Drive-by Blogger said...

Neva,of course your sons would be welcom, there will be no ageism in the City Scouts!


Hey "foodaddy",thanks for stopping by.

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