Friday, July 28, 2006

Just say no...

Yet another very strange story has emerged in the news. This one involves a disturbing trend among teenagers who are getting high by sniffing mothballs. I know what you’re thinking… " How the hell do those kids even know which moths are male?" No, I’m talking about the other kind of mothball, the ones used to keep moths from eating your clothing.

Anyway, I would just like to take a few minutes to "rap" to any young people out there who might be thinking about mothball sniffing. Like, don’t do it man…it won’t make you a "cool cat" or a "groovy chick" and it’s a gateway to the harder stuff.

Sure, you start off just sniffing a few mothballs with your friends on the weekend, but before you know it, you’re snorting athlete's foot powder or "huffing" spray-on deodorants. Then one day you’re hustling on the street for money to buy the Preparation H you are injecting directly into your veins. I’ll bet it doesn’t sound so "cool" now, does it.

This message brought to you by the National Organization to Prevent Kids from doing Really Stupid Stuff.

5 comments:

Joel said...

Nancy Reagan would be so proud (tearing up at the thought)

Jenna Howard said...

Wow. I could make a fortune out of the chest in my living room. I could open it up and earn a fortune as my grandma stacked it with mothballs and my mom's books from college so it's a hazy, jazzy combination smell of mothballs and old books. Sweet! Eeeeasy money.

And to think I was going to eliminate the "golden" smell by varnishing the inside. *phew* Imagine how bad I would have felt by eliminating my cash cow.

The Drive-by Blogger said...

Well, if you decide to start "dealing" mothballs, maybe you send a little something my way, sort of a finders fee...I'm talkin' money, not mothballs.

Jenna Howard said...

What kind of "finders fee" we talking here? *puts on her negotiating face*

Jae said...

I was thinkin about chewing pubic hairs until reading your article. Thank you!