Monday, June 04, 2007

It's good to be the king...

Not long ago I was reading about young Prince Harry and it started me thinking about the history of the British monarchy. I immediately took my medication, but to no avail…the thought was stuck in my head.

Anyway, long before they started using numbers, you know, Henry II or Henry VIII, it was common for kings to be known by a nickname. As you might have guessed, some of these nicknames were of the self-aggrandizing variety, like Alfred the Great, Richard the Lion Hearted and so on.

However, some kings didn’t do as well in the nickname department. Take for example, Ethelred the Unready, Sweyn Forkbeard or Harold Harefoot. Now, I thought those were pretty interesting, but I was certain there had to be more. So after a little digging, I compiled this list of not so illustriously nicknamed kings…


Ulrod the Incontinent

Caldor the Pigeon Toed

Harold the Queasy

Fredric the Emaciated

Edward the Squishy


Henry the Nutless (perhaps not surprisingly, he left no heirs to the throne)

Charles the Lice Ridden (was actually called that for only a short while before it was realized that everyone at that time was lice ridden)

Richard the Bootylicious


Ok, don’t quote me on that last one…I’m fairly certain it was at that point that the medication finally kicked in.

15 comments:

paisley said...

i have no idea how you come up with this stuff... but don't stop......

HollyGL said...

If you were the king, what would your nickname be?

Princess of Everything (and then some) said...

*snickers* he left no heirs to the throne.

Anonymous said...

Royal Highness DBB the Weird of Gutbucket

How's that hollygl?

Skul

The Drive-by Blogger said...

paisley- That makes two of us...and thank ye kindly.

hollygl- I believe I'd be Drive-By the Peculiar...although Skul's suggestion does have a kind of formal elegance to it.

princess of everything- that's a damn good nickname right there.

Sharon said...

I'm sure King Richard was known behind the court as *bootylicious*. No one just wanted to dare it say out loud in fear of losing their head .... :)

Paul "FooDaddy" Brand said...

"Edward the Squishy".

That one gave me the royal snortles!

neva said...

i think i might be related to Sweyn the Forkbeard. sigh.

and you, my friend, will henceforth be known as: DRIVE-BY THE SNARKER

for reasons that will be made clear as soon as you click on that link! (that was one FUNNY post you did, TDB. well, TWO, if you count this one, as well!!) : ) xox

Minka said...

Those are some unfortunate nicknames. In Icelandic history we have a bunch of those, too. Leading people were distinguished by a first name and a certain quality that seperated tehm from others. The Icelandic Sagas are a greta source of amusement ;)

Minka said...

Oh, and I just came by to let you know that i enjoyed your driving-by guest post at the snark.

have a nice day and stay away from the spiders ;) Oh, and since you are watching out for things...skip scorpions, too!

The Drive-by Blogger said...

Minka- Thanks, I'll have to look into those Icelandic Sagas :)

Theresa said...

Just came by after reading your brilliant post at the Snark. So, what about Prince Charles, what should his nickname be? After all, we all do know what he told Camilla he wanted to be...

The Cat Realm said...

Very nice. You forgot one:
George, the Emptyheaded

The Drive-by Blogger said...

Theresa- Thanks...if i were in a kindly mood I'd probably call him Charles the Befuddled. In a less kindly mood it would have something to do with those ears.

The Cat Realm- Hmmm, George, the Emptyheaded...are we still talking Kings here?

Michael said...

Prince Charles the Jughead.

Great list.