Thursday, November 09, 2006

You gotta be kidding me...

Speaking as someone whose blog consists mainly of weird stuff that I make up, it’s always a little disconcerting whenever reality decides to remind me that when it comes to weirdness, it does just fine on it’s own. Take for example these CD’s available from the Collectors Choice Music Catalog:

First up is a three-disc box set of recordings by Tiny Tim. For those too young to remember, Tiny Tim was a performer of sorts, who would strum a ukulele while singing old songs in a voice that sounded something like a castrato on helium.

Don’ t get me wrong, I liked Tiny Tim as a character and I enjoy a little musical weirdness as much as the next guy (providing the next guy isn’t someone who can’t wait to by this item) but a little Tiny Tim goes a long way.

This next item is called “My Rifle, My Pony and Me”, and although that might have made a great title for a children’s book from the NRA, it’s a terrible name for a CD…even if it is just a collection of western movie and TV soundtracks.

The dubious musical value of this disc doesn’t end there because along with a few legitimate country stars like Johnny Cash, this CD also features songs by actors like Jimmy Stewart and Kirk Douglas. My biggest fear is that some Broadway producer will come across this and turn it into a musical starring Donny Osmond.

Here we have the Nana Mouskouri Collection. Now unlike Tiny Tim, I’m not familiar with this singer’s work, although I’m sure it’s fine (just in case there are any Mouskouri fanatics out there). No, the oddity in this selection has to do with numbers. As in the number of CD’s in the set: 34…and the number of songs: 673…and finally, the number of dollars this thing cost: $ 474!

673 songs? She must have started recording ten minutes after Edison invented the phonograph. Who the hell has the time to plow through that much material…retired people…inmates serving life sentences? As for the price, I guess it could be worse. I’m pretty sure this set would cost even more if they were charging by the pound.

And last but not least is a CD of holiday music entitled “Christmas with the Rat Pack”. As the catalog says “Ring-a-ding-ding in the holidays with Frank, Dean n’ Sammy”. Yeah…cause nothing says Christmas quite like booze, cigarettes and hookers on the Vegas Strip.


Dan said...


True story -- my brother actually picked up a hitch-hiking Tiny Tim on Route 1 in Old Bridge, NJ some years ago. According to my brother, he smelled like he hadn't taken a shower since Nana Mouskouri's first day in the recording studio. Tiny must have been making an appearance at a local club and/or in the vicinity for another taping ot he "Uncle Floyd" show (man, that brings back memories).

Incidentally, don't bother ordering any of this, you can download all of this on the web if you look in the right places.

Gregory said...

Nona Mouskouri! I have to have it.

Actually, I would probably enjoy the rat pack singing Christmas songs. Although, no one will ever beat out good old Bing.

The Drive-by Blogger said...

Dan- From being married on the Tonight Show to hitch-hiking in Old Bridge NJ... man, that is some kind of fall.

Gregory-I think one of the strangest duets I've ever seen was old Bing and David Bowie on a Christmas special,I think they were singing the Little Drummer Boy.

Diesel said...

The "My Rifle, My Pony and Me" reminds me of an old SNL sketch where the GIs are singing "Cleaning my rifle...and dreaming of you..."

Bernie said...

A 3-CD box set of Tiny Tim songs? There's a guy known (barely) for exactly one song. I can't wait to hear the dance mix of Tip Toe Through The Tulips.

Diesel said...

Bernie - Come on, how can you forget "Skip through the Tulips", "Saunter through the Tulips", "Shuffle through the Tulips", and "Run Like Hell through the Daffodils"?

Bernie said...

Good point, deisel - maybe he was ahead of his time with a concept album.

The Drive-by Blogger said...

"Run Like Hell through the Daffodils"

I think that was from Tiny Tim's "death metal" period.