Saturday, November 18, 2006

Everybody must get stoned...

Often, when I think people are difficult to understand, I’ll hear or read about something that makes me realize that they’re not…they are in fact… impossible to understand.

Take for example, the story of several large 400 million-year old boulders that were recently dug up during a sewer upgrade some where in Brooklyn, New York. So, we’re basically talking about some very big, very old rocks, of no real interest to anyone other than geologists or some other scientific types…right?

Wrong, because no sooner than the city had moved the rocks to other parts of the city (presumably to get them out of the way) than some of the residents in the neighborhood started complaining. Here are a few actual quotes:

“The big one, the first one, should stay here with us.”

“It belongs to us, they pulled it out of our street.”

“What are we, chopped liver? They should stay in their hometown.”

“It wouldn’t bother me as much, if they had a plaque saying they came from Vanderbilt Ave. in Brooklyn.”

A plaque…someone wants a plaque to commemorate the day a few large rocks were dug up from the ground. Yes, I can see why you wouldn’t want that kind of knowledge to be lost to future generations. Any place else you’d like to put a plaque? How about that corner where you once found five dollars…or that alley you once took a whiz in because you didn’t think you could make it back to your apartment?

If this is how these people reacted to a few ancient boulders, I’m just glad that no gold was discovered or there would have been bloodshed for sure.

Anyway, despite the efforts of those passionate rock lovers, the boulders are gone. When asked about it, the president of the borough, in the grand old tradition of spineless politicians everywhere had this to say: “It’s flattering to know that everybody wants a piece of Brooklyn.

For some reason, I just can’t help picturing him giggling like a schoolgirl as he said it.


Anonymous said...

People are crazy. You know, they say that the odds of you inhaling one of the molecules exhaled by Julius Caesar in his dying breath are over 99% for every breath you take. I wonder what these people would do with that little factoid.

Anonymous said...

This is SO NOT TRUE! Maybe you just did a Google image search or something, but that rock in your post was one found in Madison, NJ, my town. I clearly recognize the igneous subduction striations. And that light color quartz and feldspar are unmistakable.

Please give credit where credit is due. That rock is from my town, sir.

Anonymous said...

ah HA! I knew I would catch you on here "Dan" or should I say "James Charleston" the famous Rock Swindler! Pay no attention to him Drive-by, this is the thirty second stone he has attempted to claim credit for!

I can assure you, sir, that particular stone in the picture IS the one they removed from Brooklyn AFTER my people in Toronto moved it to that very street. And while Brooklyn held on to it for a while... WE are the true originators of the stone.

Anonymous said...

Everybody knows that Elvis stole the rock from the negroes.