Wednesday, May 02, 2007

Shaken, not stirred...

I was reading about Daniel Craig, the actor who has taken over the role of James Bond and it started me thinking about the old Bond films and how bizarre some of their titles were. So much so in fact, that someone who was completely unfamiliar with the 007 movies could easily be excused for thinking that…

Goldfinger is a comedy about the world’s richest proctologist

Octopussy is a porno film for people with a fetish for cephalopods

Moonraker is a documentary about smuggling illegal immigrants into space

The Man with the Golden Gun is a cautionary tale about someone who knows much more about accumulating wealth than he does the manufacturing of quality firearms

Dr. No is about US physicians who oppose socialized medicine

You Only Live Twice is about some kind of abridged, Reader’s Digest version of reincarnation

The Spy Who Loved Me is a CIA recruitment film

Thunderball doesn’t even sound like a film title as much as it does a really painful testicular condition

Well, if all that doesn’t get Ian Fleming spinning in his grave, I don’t what will.

Listed on


Anonymous said...

Harrumph. Bond is sacred. Sacred!! that's always my thought when I think of the title Octopussy but still...sacred!

Sher said...

The Man With the Golden Gun... love your little trailer more than the original. Makes more sense.

PS: Are you wearing underwear right now?

The Drive-by Blogger said...

Jenna- Sacred, eh? OK, but I draw the line at calling him Saint 007.

Sher- Thank you, and yes I am...backwards for luck of course, but still wearing them.

Fanton said...

I've always thought that For Your Eyes Only sounded like a training film for opticians. Whereas GoldenEye could well have been the opticians' equivalent to the Oscars.

Anyway: good stuff.

The Drive-by Blogger said...

Fanton- Thanks, I had completely forgotten about GoldenEye!

Jaesoreal said...

I have severe thunderballs!

Paul "FooDaddy" Brand said...

There's a Bond movie called Thunderball?

I respect you as a fine purveyor of nonsense, DriveBy, but that one's funny all by itself!

You know. Great work otherwise.

*shuffles away*

The Drive-by Blogger said...

Jaesoreal- Did you say thunderballs? I think that might be a whole other topic.

Foodaddy- I agree, that is funny, and on top of that, the theme song was sung by Tom Jones...I bet he loves having that on his resume.

seev said...

Great stuff, drive-by blogger!

Let's see: You Only Live Twice and the Postman Rings Twice each time? Would that take four Thunderballs? Sorry! That's the best I could come up with.

Great humor here!

Anonymous said...

I agree with Jenna, I'm a huge Bond fan hehe, but still, very funny post. You have a very cool blog, thanks for visiting mine, hope you liked it and will visit again ^^ feel free to leave a comment if you find anything interesting.