No, that rattling sound you hear isn’t ball bearings in a coconut shell, its just a few random musings jostling each other for space in the limited real estate that is my brain. Read on and I’ll shake a few loose for you…
These days the word “whacked” is used as a euphemism for a murder committed by the mob. In the 1940’s it was “rubbed out” (at least according to old gangster films). What I’d like to know is did they have a meeting to decide on this and more importantly, why do both terms seem to have masturbatory connotations?
To help out first time parents, someone should manufacture diapers with some kind of color-coded warning system. For example, the diaper might turn blue if it’s just wet, orange for an ordinary bowel movement and if it turns neon green, you might want to break out the biohazard suits.
Judging from the women who star in the shows “The Ghost Whisperer” an “Medium” there seems to be a link between paranormal ability and large breasts. Clearly, this requires more research…and I’m ready to do my part.
Fettuccine Alfredo, Eggs Benedict, Beef Wellington…I don’t care what it tastes like, food named after people just creeps me out.
I bet you could probably make a lot of money by using disappearing ink to tattoo people who have a fear of commitment but still want to be trendy.
Have you ever noticed how sometimes someone will combine two words to form an entirely new one, like infotainment or advertorial? Well, I think I’ve come up with one that could catch on: poshtitute. It would be used to refer to only the most expensive hookers available.
A word of advice to the GEICO company: in those commercials with the perpetually offended cavemen, you might want to add a few cavewomen or people might start talking…if you know what I mean.
Someone should find out if there’s a market for a Braille edition of the game “Twister”
Well, I gotta run, if I’m more than 10 minutes late, my electroshock therapist charges me double.
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