Saturday, April 28, 2007

The greatest show on earth...

The gentleman in the photograph goes by the name of Bello. He is appearing with the Ringling Bros. and Barnum & Bailey Circus in a show called “Bellobration”. Now, judging from his bizarre haircut and the fact that he is apparently some kind of clown/acrobat daredevil, I was wondering if this had anything to do with the popularity of the Cirque du Soleil.

They also have people with weird hair doing strange combinations of things and they’ve been very successful…maybe too successful for even the biggest of traditional circuses to ignore.

If so, I just want the people at Ringling Bros. and Barnum & Bailey to know that I’m here to help. It just so happens that in my spare time I am the business manager of several world class, cutting edge circus acts, all of whom happen to be “between engagements”. For a very reasonable price I can make available to them performers like…

Lars Nostrom the Frozen Swordfish Swallower: Lars began his career in Sweden as a conventional sword swallower before coming up with the brilliant idea of using a live swordfish instead. While recovering from the operation to repair the lacerations to his throat he came up with the even better idea of using only frozen swordfish instead.

Gunter Holbein, Extreme Lion Tamer: Audiences will be stunned and amazed as this dashing Teutonic tamer of big cats puts his lions through their paces armed only with a feather duster, while wearing a suit made entirely from beef. In Berlin his show was held over for an additional six weeks…ok, actually it was just Gunter that was held for six weeks and that was for a court ordered psychiatric evaluation, but he’s available now!

The Amazing Borini Family, the World’s Only Blind Trapeze Act: Hailing from a small mountain village straddling the border of Italy and France, all the members of this family have been blind as far back as anyone can remember. They seem to have developed some kind of echo locating ability unique to themselves…ok, really they’re just yelling at each other constantly, but it seems to work…most of the time.

Bippy Leather Stockings: This mysterious clown from parts unknown is a clinically diagnosed schizophrenic with sadomasochistic tendencies who always gets howls of laughter as he whips himself with a cat-o' nine tails while begging himself not to stop...always a favorite with the kids.

Just imagine all those acts under one roof…now that’s entertainment.


Listed on humor-blogs.com

14 comments:

Sher said...

Where oh where can I get tickets?

PS: The clown sound like someone I used to date.

seventh sister said...

I commend the guy in the pic. It is hard to find a hair style weird enough to get much attention now days.

The Drive-by Blogger said...

Sher- Could be...Bippy really gets around.


Seventh sister- Very true, I believe in his case it was achieved by some combination of Rogaine and Viagra.

mist1 said...

I want to help him with those eyebrows.

Diesel said...

If you think that guy looks surprised now, wait till he gets a look at himself in the mirror.

Zep said...

Bippy - I saw him at the Hotel Adlon in Berlin in 1974, he was worth every tear I shed. But I actually thought he retired after "Floyds Flying Flagellants" started their success story?

HollyGL said...

Wow, I'm completely intimidated. How can I possibly compete with all of these clever comments?

You have a great blog here. I really needed a good laugh tonight, and you took care of that for me.

Thanks!!

The Drive-by Blogger said...

mist1- If you do, wear protective clothing, I'm sure that whatever he drew them on with is toxic.

Diesel- I'm guessing that much like vampires, clown/acrobat daredevils cannot see their own reflection.

Zep - Ah yes, you were lucky, Bippy was in his prime then. He did retire for a while, but after the Floyds had that terrible accident and the press started calling them the "Falling Flagellants" he decided to return to show business.

The Drive-by Blogger said...

HollyGL- Thanks, I'm glad you enjoyed it.

Lulu (Dan's cat) said...

That Bello dude looks like me with my tail when I'm stalking daddy.

I wish Dad would take me to the circus so I could stalk the elephants and make them stampeded the crowd. That would rule!

MEOWWWW!

Zoning Out Again said...

Thanks Dbb,
I was looking for a new style!
It looks like you can hide stuff in there too! I'm sick of carrying around a purse!

The Drive-by Blogger said...

Lulu (Dan's cat)- thank you for stopping by Lulu, I've heard about you from Dan...um, most of it good!


ZOA- Always glad to help, I'm sure it would much better on you than on Bello.

Sparky Duck said...

scary thing is that I naturally thought cirque du soleil when I heard about this freakish dude.

botheyesgreen said...

You might also add Mr Methane (www.mrmethane.com)~ some say he's a gas..