Wednesday, April 25, 2007

A little pondering and a little pandering...

Generally speaking, I don’t consider myself to be an idiot, but there are many things in the world that I do not understand, many things that puzzle and befuddle me. Here are a few of the questions that have recently been crawling around the junkyard of my mind…

How was it that Albert Einstein was smart enough to come up with the theory of relativity but apparently couldn’t figure out how to use a comb?

Why don’t animal species in which the males can lick their own “private parts” quickly become extinct? Because I’m pretty sure if human males ever develop that ability that’s exactly what will happen.

Why life doesn’t come with a soundtrack? I mean, even the dullest existence could be made more bearable with the right music.

Do the people who make picket signs have a union and if they go on strike what do they carry while picketing?

Aren’t casinos really just weight loss centers for your wallet?

Do werewolves have to deal with flea and tick infestation…and does anyone make a collar for that?

Will Alec Baldwin’s angry tirade at his daughter keep him from ever landing that most prestigious of all hosting gigs…Nickelodeon's Kid Choice Awards?

Did anyone but me think that MC Escher was a rapper from Europe?

Black holes, wormholes…who would have thought that the universe would so closely resemble a hunk of Swiss cheese?

Why didn’t edible underwear ever become a part of everyone’s daily wardrobe? Oh wait, I do understand that one…ewww!

By the way, my fellow blogger Diesel, over at Mattress Police, is having a caption contest and yours truly is in the running. So if you are so inclined head over there and have a gander and maybe even vote…for um, you know, whoever.


Listed on humor-blogs.com

7 comments:

MacBros said...

Why don’t animal species in which the males can lick their own “private parts” quickly become extinct? Because I’m pretty sure if human males ever develop that ability that’s exactly what will happen.

Wha-da-ya mean if human males ever get the ability to do it? You mean you can't?

Sher said...

My life does have a soundtrack. "Super Freak".

It's super freaky.

The Drive-by Blogger said...

MacBros- I think I missed that yoga class.

Sher- Somewhere Rick James is smiling...which is not that easy when you're dead.

Diesel said...

"Do the people who make picket signs have a union and if they go on strike what do they carry while picketing?"

That question is going to haunt me forever.

neva said...

are you tellin' me you don't have a soundtrack in your head? should i be concerned by the fact that i do??

i actually know the answer to your first question -- apparently Einstein once said he didn't comb his hair because, and i quote: "I don't have to." that's also the reason he didn't wear socks. see? life is easy when you're smarter than the average bear (before you ask, i DO comb my hair and/or wear socks. not smart enough NOT to, i suppose!)

funny funny stuff, here, TDB! and your caption was hilarious -- not as hilarious as my own, mind you, but funny, nonetheless! :p

The Drive-by Blogger said...

Diesel- the deep questions always do.

Neva- Oh, I hear music in my head...it's just never appropriate to the situation at hand.

Because he "didn't have to" eh? You win this round Einstein!

By the way, I'd be happy to lose a caption contest to you any day.

Jaesoreal said...

Your life must suck! My life comes with a soundtrack AND smoke machines! Curiously, the police don't always seem to question the validity of this, especially when I ride around with the smoke machine running and my windows rolled up.