Tuesday, June 27, 2006

Welcome to poetry corner...

I was going to enthrall you with a three thousand line epic poem of mine that was inspired by that miracle of nature known as photosynthesis. Sadly, I can’t seem to find it, so instead here are some limericks inspired by low budget horror films:

There was a werewolf named Lee
A murderous beast was he
Your flesh he would shred
Until you were dead
Then on your leg he would pee

There once was a mummy named Betty
Who was late with her husband’s spaghetti
He began to smack her
Then used a weed whacker
Now she’s a big pile of confetti

There was a zombie from France
Who truly did love to dance
One night as he twirled
His intestines unfurled
And soiled his best pair of pants

There once was a man called Jack
A proud necrophiliac
The girls he preferred
Were always interred
Though the digging was hard on his back

There once was a doctor so smart
A monster he built à la carte
But you could tell by one glance
At it’s tight fitting pants
The Doc had forgotten one part

A vampire with a bad attitude
Flew off in a terrible mood
To the Arctic he did go
Where he dined on Eskimo
Only to find he didn’t like frozen food

Well, I’ve got to go…that lost epic isn’t going to
rewrite itself.


neva said...

gosh. what a shame you lost that epic. i mean, if these limericks are any indication... we're missing out, BIG TIME!

there once was a guy, TDB
who wanted to write poetry,
horror films were his muse,
scary plots were abused,
now i'm laughing my ass off in glee!

sigh. this was my way of complimenting you. apparently i should stick to saying stuff like "well done" or "good job" or "hey, that was funny, TDB". i'll try to remember that in the future! (hey, that was pretty dang funny, TDB!!)

The Drive-by Blogger said...

Thanks neva, I'm just pleased someone wrote a limerick about me.

Joel said...

I see a coffee table book in your future TDB!