The X-Men, a new Superman movie…once again it seems that Hollywood is turning to super heroes for help at the box office. However, not every super hero is good enough to make it to the big screen…here are a few that didn’t make the cut:
The Human Puddle: can transform himself into a small pool of water at will. After his battle against the evil Dr. Mop he was never seen again.
Captain Cloaca: battles super villains by controlling the contents of the world’s sewers…though most people he tries to rescue would prefer that he didn’t.
Slo-Mo Man: his only super power is the ability to move ten times slower than any living thing on earth…he was voted world’s worst super hero three years in a row.
The Iron Evangelist & Bible Boy: this devout duo is constantly battling with an evil organization bent on world domination…the dreaded Worldwide Association of Naughty Gays, better known as W.A.N.G.
Giggle Girl: her super sonic and condescending laughter renders even the most determined super villains unable to explain their absurdly complicated evil plans.
The Flabinator: a champion bodybuilder until he was bitten by a radioactive hippo, he now uses his gargantuan, gelatinous bulk to flatten evil doers.
You’ve got to admit it’s hard to see any great merchandising deals coming out of that bunch.