Sunday, June 18, 2006

Bill, we hardly knew ye...

As you may already know, Bill Gates has announced that he’s stepping down as the head of Microsoft to concentrate on his charity foundation. As noble as that may be, you know that a real "go getter" like Bill Gates is going to be busy with other things as well…things like:

Trying to talk Oprah, Donald Trump and George Lucas into doing an all billionaire version of "The Surreal Life".

Perfecting that 3D pornographic software he’s been promising himself.

Catching up on thirty years worth of "Field and Stream" magazines he hasn’t had the time to read.

Bribing as many officials as it takes to get legislation passed that will change the caption on all US currency to read "In Nerds We Trust".

Finding a way to permanently alter the human genome and rid the world of jocks once and for all.

Conducting exhaustive research on the bible to prove that his name is mentioned in there…somewhere.

Using GPS technology and a team of professional explorers to map the gigantic 125 million-dollar house he lives in.

Seriously Bill, if you find yourself having trouble burning through all that money…I’m here to help.


Joel said...

My concern is...

We find out that in exchange for the 10's of billions of dollars in "charity" payments Bill received equity in a large African country which he will soon take control of...rename Gatesland and use it as the cornerstone of his non-violent takeover of the world.

neva said...

i wish i could add something to this discussion, but you two seem to have it covered! too funny, TDB!

by the way... thanks for visiting the "snark park"... i've linked to ya in the sidebar! (and perhaps to a post in the future? that is, if ya don't mind...)