Wednesday, May 10, 2006

Do You Believe in Magic...

Hey, how about that David Blaine…with the water and the chains and whatnot. You know, it can’t be easy coming up with stunts that manage to amaze and bore your audience simultaneously.

Previously, he has accomplished this seemingly impossible paradox by being buried in a glass coffin, encasing himself in a block of ice and spending 44 days suspended high in the air somewhere in England. Although, many of the people there seemed more annoyed than amazed…I guess some cultural curiosities don’t travel well.

Now that he has spent a week in a gigantic fishbowl, rumors have already started circulating about what his next daring stunt/snorefest might be…

For one full month he will live in the tallest tree in New York City’s Central Park, by which time he claims he will have become "Lord of the Squirrels".

He will glue himself to the back of one of those giant tortoises in the Galapagos Islands and vow to stay on it until one of them dies.

To test his tolerance for pain, wearing only the skimpiest bathing suit, he will lay flat on a huge electric griddle. Every half-hour a forklift will flip him over.

Chained to an easy chair with his eyes propped open with toothpicks, he will endure watching every single episode of Will & Grace, without a break. Charlie Sheen will be standing by with two emergency hookers, who will spring into action at the first sign that Blaine might be starting to " turn that way".

Wrapped from head to foot in Saran Wrap, he will be placed in an abandoned refrigerator for two weeks, after which time a panel of television chefs will check him for freshness.

Well, I’m off to see if there’s any water left in the big fishbowl…I’m sure I could sell it on eBay.


neva said...

honestly, if david blaine could not only watch every freaking episode of Will & Grace, but then explain to me why--for the love of god--this show was ever popular... i will become a believer in all things magic! (i have so many gay friends, it's not that. the show just sucks. i'm sorry. it had to be said). : D

The Drive-by Blogger said...

I'm pretty sure that Debra Messing made a deal with Satan and even his dark powers were almost insufficient to make her famous...remember "Ned and Stacey".