Well, I guess it’s official…Bob Dylan has become an old fogey. Now, it was well known that Dylan is getting old, but that’s not the same thing. Not everybody who grows old becomes an old fogey…old fogeyness is a state of mind.
As evidence of Dylan’s slide into old fogeydom, I offer the following statements taken from a recent interview:
"You listen to these modern records, they’re atrocious, they have sound all over them. There’s no definition of nothing, no vocal, no nothing, just like static."
At first it might sound like the usual cranky complaint of an aging generation on the music of a younger one, but Dylan is also reported as saying that even his records sounded better in the studio than on the disk. That pretty much renders his comments incomprehensible, which when combined with his use of the word "modern" generally means it’s old fogey time.
If you’re still not convinced, here are a few more signs that Dylan has become an old fogey:
He is always yelling at the tour bus driver to slow down.
Has been known to lecture groupies on the importance of getting enough fiber.
Not only does he think motorcycle helmets are a good idea, but believes people should wear them while riding escalators.
He says that everyone on TV is talking too fast and wearing too many bright colors…it gives him a headache.
Canceled subscription to Playboy and signed up for Readers Digest.
Has a large collection of sweater vests.
Old fogey syndrome can strike anyone and there’s no know cure…well, death eventually takes care of it, but lets hope science can come up with something less drastic.