Tuesday, September 12, 2006

I'm Ok, You're Ok...

It seems that no matter what the problem is, someone has written a self-help book dealing with it. Here are a couple that I think are destined to become bestsellers:

"Stop Spoiling Your Inner-Child" by Dr. Gustav Von Liebergeitzel.

This eminent psychologist is known as the "Bavarian Dr.Phil" and even has his own brand of "down home" sayings:

You can try to waltz through life, but that won’t stop the chaffing in your lederhosen.

Sounds like a load of schnitzel to me!

You can bet your mamma’s strudel on it.

Just because Fritz has a Fräulein, doesn’t mean he isn’t ‘playing’ in the oompah band!

Yah right…and my grandmother was head of the Luftwaffe.

The Bavarian Daily News says, "You will buy this book…Now!"

For those of you suffering from a malaise of a more spiritual nature there’s this one:

"How to Win against Sin!" by Pastor John H. Coprolite.

Whether it’s adultery, stealing, substance abuse or gambling, the good pastor has been through it all and now he offers up to you his hard won knowledge.

From his humble beginnings preaching at rural tent revivals to the glory days of his multi-million dollar TV ministry it’s all here, along nuggets of wisdom like:

Just because a hooker is mute, don’t mean she won’t tell.

The Internal Revenue Service…government agency or godless tool of Satan?

Casinos really do have cameras everywhere!

Sometimes the devil comes dressed as an angel of light…sometimes as a sixteen year-old blonde cheerleader from Wisconsin.

So if your soul is worth saving go out and get this book.(all proceeds go towards the Pastor Coprolite legal defense fund)


Dan said...

Damn! These sound like a couple of awesome books ... especially the one about Wisconsin cheerleaders.

But I'm so busy these days, I was wondering if the Cliff Notes were available? Hmmm ... maybe those guys on the other blog can do them.

Anonymous said...

Next thing you know they'll be on Oprah and these books will be on the NY Times bestseller. And why would I want to stop spoiling my inner child? My inner child deserves to be spoiled.

The Drive-by Blogger said...

You're lucky jenna...my inner child is a paste eating moron who refuses to be potty trained.

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