Wednesday, April 26, 2006

Blame it on the brainfreeze...

According to a recent article in the news, the ice cream company Ben and Jerry’s issued an apology to anyone they might have offended. How does a company that makes something as benign as ice cream offend anyone? It has to with the wacky names they tend to give their products…you know, Cherry Garcia, Chunky Monkey and so on.

Well, they decided to call one of their new flavors "Black and Tan", which as it turns out was the nickname of an auxiliary British police force serving in Ireland in the early 1920’s, so brutal and violent that they are still remembered with hatred.

While this may be the first public incident for Ben and Jerry’s, I have managed to obtain a top secret list of names for new flavors that were considered but ultimately rejected as to controversial or inappropriate…

Mussolini Mango

Tranny Banana Surprise

Neverland Ranch Boys ‘N Berries

FEMA Fudge Up

Iraq Attack

Abu Ghraib Grape

Dixieland’s Vanilla Dreams

Cannibal Caramel Crunch

California Mudslide Mocha

Deadeye Cheney Chocolate Chip

Weapon of Mass Deliciousness

Santa’s Big Red Sack

Don’t forget that no one is supposed to know about this…so keep it under your hat.


Joel said...

Once again...laughing...I'm thinking Ben and/or Jerry should take heed and buy your list. Oh sure it would set off a PR shitstorm but I guarentee they would capture a whole new market segment and isn't that really what life's all about anyway?

puppytoes said...

just. laughing. and... laughing. and... laughing.

what, do you suppose, is in weapons of mass deliciousness, anyway? i'm thinkin' it probably has nuts... or am i getting that confused with santa's big red sack? : D