Wednesday, August 16, 2006

Drive-by Blues...

For as long as I can remember, I have harbored a secret desire to be a blues singer/guitarist. The fact that this dream endures despite my complete inability to sing or play an instrument of any kind is a testament to the power of self-delusion.

Anyway, since most of the great blues singers had great nicknames like Muddy Waters, Howlin’ Wolf, Blind Lemon Jefferson and Lead Belly, I thought I’d better come up with one for myself. Here’s what I’ve come up with so far:

"Silky Drawers" Thompson

"Ol’ Fuzzy Foot"

"Melon Head" Wilson

"Spastic Sam"

"Nightlight" Johnson

"Squealin’ Ferret"

"Dill Pickle" Dave

"Lil’ Otis" Flatbottom

"Swollen Glands" Mackelroy

"Nine Fingered Louie"

Wait…I think that last one is actually from my mobster wannabe phase.


Joel said...

"Spastic Sam" holds a special meaning for me personally. I had a 7th grade metal shop teacher that loved to yell "NOT BAD FOR A SPASTIC" whenever he would review our work. Lucky for him I'm pretty sure he retired before entering the era of ultra PC correctness, which would have, no doubt, rendered him penniless and well versed but baffled by the rules of workplace etiquette.

neva said...

dude, i'm thinkin' Drive-by Blogger is an excellent moniker. hell, you can sing *and* write about how badly you sing. win-win!

neva said...

hey, and as long as i'm here...i've been meaning to ask: why haven't you been over to visit WAKING AMBROSE? this blog is right up your alley... and, since you know many of the folks to show up there every day, i'm thinking you'd feel right at home! seriously, it's excellent fodder for thought, and a lot of fun!

oh, and thank you so much for the sweet comment you left on my site yesterday! i'm glad our "love story" gives you hope and/or less of a reason for that blackened and/or shriveled heart! xo

Jenna Howard said...

"Swollen Glands". Totally. Soooo sexy.

The Drive-by Blogger said...

joel- Ah yes, shop teachers and gym teachers,the dregs of the public education system...except any who might be reading this...I mean the other ones.

neva- I'll be sure to check it out. Actually, I'm slowly getting around to visiting all the sites listed at central snark, but I just don't get to spend as much time on the computer as I'd like.

And your more than welcome, I hope you had a great anniversary. In fact, my shriveled heart did grow two sizes wait, I think that was the Grinch who stole Christmas.

Jenna- thanks,I think that would look good on a cd cover.

Jae said...

Swollen glands Mackelroy may suffer from an STD.

The Drive-by Blogger said...

Yep,one of the many risks of life on the road.