Thursday, August 10, 2006

All the wee beasties...

For some unknown reason (well, unknown to me anyway) groups of animals are sometimes given very strange names. For example, a group of crows is called a murder, then there’s a quiver of cobras, a parliament of owls, a troubling of goldfish and last but not least…an ostentation of peacocks.

I don’t know who decides these things, but I want in on it, so here is a list of names for various groups of animals that I would like to see put in to everyday use:

An orgy of slugs

A potpourri of dust mites

An accordion of marmosets

A clog of wombats

A bureau of sea cucumbers

A jackpot of koala bears

An administration of earthworms

A crescent wrench of boll weevils

An apology of spiders

A thermos of iguanas

Believe me when I say that there are perfectly logical reasons for the names I have assigned to each animal group…I just haven’t thought of them yet.


Jenna Howard said...

Well an apology of spiders is self-explanatory. When I smush them all I will say "Sorry".

And an orgy of slugs...well...of course! You're going to get freaky hits now that you've used orgy. Trust me. I know this.

The Drive-by Blogger said...

Yes, for slugs I was torn between using the word orgy or debauchery, but I flipped a coin and orgy it was.

Jenna Howard said...

It could be a debauchery of cockroaches.

Y'know...i look at that and it just looks right somehow. And say it out loud? Isn't it perfect? *whistles innocently as she sashays away*

neva said...

i think it's a "shitload of slugs". but then, i don't like slugs.

as usual, i love this post, and i'll be waiting to find out your so-called logical explanation for "a thermos of iguanas". a thermos? really?

"knock, knock"

"who's there?"


"Iguana, who?"

"Iguana know what you were thinking when you decided to call it a 'thermos of Iguanas'"

what can i say? when i get tired, i get silly. when i get silly, i make up stupid knock, knock jokes. you do the math. xo

The Drive-by Blogger said...

Hmm...yes, "thermos of iguanas"...was based on a theory of mine that iguanas probably make lousy cup of coffee...see, I told you it was logical.

When I was growing up we actually had a couple of iguanas. They can bite, scratch with their claws and have a long tail that they use as a short, I don't think they make great pets. Of course, now I'll probably get hate mail from irate iguana lovers.

neva said...

you won't, because they've all been clawed, whipped, and/or scratched to death. that, or they're in a state of continuous stupor, because they haven't had a decent cupppa joe since they acquired their pets.

"knock, knock"

"who's there?"


"Iguana who?"

"Iguana different pet, 'cuz this one sucks."

late. tired again. sorry. xo

Paul "FooDaddy" Brand said...

Did you know that a group of meerkats is called a "mob"? I think that's great. They've always seemed vaguely threatening to me, and it's frightening to think that they might be organized. I picture them with Italian accents, regardless of their country of origin.

Pavel said...

Hi, just visiting... A "murder?!"
That's scary! I can understand peacocks, they do seem a bit ostentatous...