What's really going on here

As a doting uncle, I’ve probably been exposed to more children’s television than is healthy for a normal adult brain. Of course, in my case it is also probably true that I have less to lose in that regard than most people do.

Be that as it may, some of these TV shows, innocuous though they may seem, raise some perplexing and even disturbing questions…


SpongeBob SquarePants: Ok, I get it, he lives in a pineapple under the sea…but does he own or rent? Also, despite being surrounded by fish, the main characters on this show are a sponge, a starfish and a squid…so, is this program being used to push the invertebrate agenda? Just what do they have against backbones?




Dora the Explorer: Exactly who is funding all this “exploring” anyway? Is it the oil companies? Is she part of some kind of covert CIA operation? Or is this show some kind of allegory about the evils of colonialism and if so, what the hell does the blue monkey symbolize?






Teletubbies: The most obvious question here is…what the hell are these things? Are they mentally challenged aliens? Or are they someone’s idea of what human beings will be like after another million years or so of sitting on the couch watching television? In either case, why does the sun have a laughing baby’s head in the middle of it? And did anyone remember to put sunscreen on the baby?



I posed these questions to my youngest niece, a sharp-witted little lass of five, who I think knows more than she lets on. Her only response was to smile at me and turn back to her program. Oh, she’s crafty all right.


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