Sunday, April 30, 2006

When gravity attacks...

There’s never a dull moment with these aging rock stars. It seems while on vacation in Fiji, Keith Richards, the 62 year old guitarist for the Rolling Stones, was climbing a coconut tree…and fell off. According to the doctors treating him, Keith suffered a mild concussion. My question is, how can they tell? I’ve seen him interviewed on television several times before and I barely understood a word he said.

Although Keith gave no reason why anyone as rich and old as he is would be climbing a coconut tree, I’ve come up with a few possible explanations…

1. He was going to hang himself, but forgot the rope.

2. Was just trying to find out if the spider that bit him was radioactive.

3. Addicted to fresh coconut milk.

4. Heard that Dick Cheney was hunting nearby and panicked.

5. Wanted to prove that gravity is just a scam created by "the man".

6. The transplanted chimpanzee liver is starting to have strange side effects.

7. Trying to impress cute dolphin he met while swimming.

8. Thought he saw a kitty stuck up there.

9. Hides his money in trees because he doesn’t trust banks.

10. Mick Jagger has taken up the art of voodoo.

11. Mistook tree for a really tall woman.

12. The ghost of Brian Jones dared him to do it.

Then again, maybe there are some things we aren’t meant to know.

5 comments:

Judy Vars said...

I've got a hysterical mental image of Keith Richards climbing a coconut tree aren't they about 100 feet tall? Dosen't he look about 100 years old?
Why Keith?

Anonymous said...

The fact that he made it up that tree is nothing short of miraculous, which makes me wonder if the Virgin Mary didn't make an appearance amongst the palm frons...or maybe JC himself...or, perhaps there was a floodlight mounted near the top of the tree and Keith thought he was following the white light..god knows he's been defying death for many, many years now.

Anonymous said...

see...and i just figured he was looking for the ultimate "rosy palms" experience.

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